Let Me Make This Mistake
Let me make this mistake.
The one you don’t agree with.
The one you think I’ll regret.
The one that’s selfish and inconsiderate and hurtful.
Let me make it anyway.
Don’t let me make it because I WANT it.
Don’t let me make it because you don’t care.
Let me make it because my biggest “mistakes” have worked out in the end.
Quitting wrestling.
Quitting my job.
Quitting living in America.
Maybe you think I’m just a quitter. Maybe you think I’m destined to continuously flirt super close to your idea of what I SHOULD do, only to “quit” and go my own way in the end.
Maybe you’re right. Maybe this is a bad thing. Maybe this is revealing a troubling pattern..
But here’s the thing about my mistakes..
I learn from them.
And I’m learning not to be afraid of them.
When we’re talking about love, you only have one TRUE shot. You HAVE to be certain. You have to be 100% sure of it. And then you’re tied down for the rest of your life.
How do you make a decision like that? How does a free spirit learn to tie their own legs down to the earth?
Let me make this mistake.
Let me be imperfect.
Trust that I feel horrible.
Trust that I will be better.
And trust that I notice this troubling trend, too.
Stop making me the bad guy.
I already know I am.
I am not like the others. Can’t you see that?
I don’t even understand ME.
Sometimes I feel like Spider-Man. Getting his powers for the first time. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to understand myself. All these voices telling me what to do.
I can’t please them all.
I’ve tried to.
It’s time to finally please the only voice that matters.
By making this mistake.
Let me make it.
And please understand that I’m different.
And that I don’t know what I’m doing.
And that none of this is being done on purpose…
